After a long battle with early-onset Alzheimer's Disease, Darlene passed away last night, December 19, 2023, at 9:37 pm. She appeared to be fairly comfortable due to the Ativan and Morphine prescribed by hospice and had many visits from friends and family over her last couple of days. We were with her when she passed. We had her favorite Nat King Cole Christmas music channel and, at the moment of her last breath, a symphonic Christmas song was hitting it's final, dramatic notes. She is now at peace after years of struggle.

Darlene always felt as though she was going to die young after she was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes in 1992. She also struggled with that disease and it may have accelerated her dementia. She also came very close to dying due to diabetes a number of times. When she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, the doctor basically said, "There isn't really much we can do. Try to fit as much life in while you can do it". We did try to do as much as we could her whole life and traveled as much as possible around the US, to New Zealand and Australia, to Switzerland, France, and Canada.
Darlene lived for her kids and grandkids including her oldest son, Billy, his wife Sarah, their daughter Corah Bean, and their new son due next month. Her baby is Logan whose has 2 grandkids with his girlfriend, Lacey, including his daughter Luci and son Jimi. She was also close to my daughter, Whitney and her family including her husband Jon, daughter Adalyn and son Noah.

The Darlene we all knew and loved gradually left us over the years as Alzheimer's progressed and I thought that maybe I had mourned everything out, her body finally leaving us was harder than I expected. I was pretty stoic about it until Billy was leaving a couple of hours before she passed. Billy's daughter, 4-year-old Corah, walked up beside Darlene and said, "Bye, Bye Grandma". I lost it at that point for a few minutes. I guess it is the finality of this goodbye, which we all knew was inevitable, that hit me hard. For much of the 30-plus years we were together, I feared this day would come. My caregiving experience was so brutal that, at times, I wasn't sure that I would survive it - or survive it outside of prison or an insane asylum. I expected that I would feel relief – and I do – but the grief was unexpected.

Speaking of caregiving, I assembled a team of caregivers who worked hard to keep Darlene as healthy and happy as they could. We also made sure she had a diet of good, healthy food with plenty of hydration and electrolytes. Most of my caregiver team are now available if anyone in the Huntsville area needs their services; one of them also provides cleaning services.

We had previously arranged with UAB (University of Alabama Birmingham) to have a brain autopsy and to donate her brain for research. I saw her body today before they started the procedure and she looked at peace. The autopsy will tell us an exact diagnosis; I suspect this was not just normal Alzheimer's as her symptoms and behavior were unlike any other Alzheimer's patient I know of. I attended numerous support groups meetings online and a monthly support group locally. I suspect there are additional causes and the kids want to know exactly her diagnosis to protect themselves in the future. Her brain will also be used for research. As she had such an unusual case, perhaps Darlene will be that 1 in a million case where the researchers see something different that leads them to an effective treatment, prevention strategy, or cure. That would be amazing and make her suffering have meaning.

Thank you to everyone who left the comments on my post from a couple of days ago. I didn't get a chance to respond to any of them, but I read them and it brought me solace. It is apparent that she had many friends that loved her and she loved all of you. She had a special place in her heart for her friends from Frankfort American High School.

Darlene never wanted a funeral; she wanted more of a party where people would swap happy stories and remember her All-American smile and many, many adventures. I expect that we will have a celebration of life – probably in January. We have an idea for stories to be recorded and edited into a video. If you have stories to share, please let me know so we can record them and edit them into a single video. If we manage to pull this off, we will show it at the celebration of life and make it available online.

Finally, always remember time is your most valuable belonging. Use it wisely to maximize living and loving with your time.
This is my favorite picture of Darlene and was taken in Abu Dhabi a couple of months before we met. That is Billy in the background.